Kindergarten Ends

Unexpectedly the ending of Kindergarten for Joshua has been more emotional for me than sending him to Kindergarten! I'm not sad for him growing up, I enjoy watching him grow and learn. I don't want to keep him in Kindergarten forever. So, I'm not sure what this pang is in the pit of my stomach this week is. I know it started with his end of the year celebration. The kindergarten classes sang, danced and performed for us. Joshua was so excited to show us all he learned and he practiced for weeks. It was adorable. Josh's Kindergarten teacher made us this precious DVD, about 10 minutes long, and I cried the whole time, then after, then on the way home and haven't been right since. All week I have reflected on what an impact his Kindergarten teacher, Miss Lynch has made on our lives. Helping us get Joshua started on the right foot in school, not only academically but socially. She knew exactly how to handle him and has been able to pull the best from him. Tonight I sat down and wrote her a note. I wanted to share it, I know many of my friends are teachers, and being on this side of the situation, at the mercy of someone to be good at their job for the sake of my child, is humbling and makes me so grateful for all the hard work all you teachers do each and every day. So thank you...

Dear Miss Lynch, It wasn't easy to send Joshua on that big yellow bus that day. I distinctly remember the strong urge to follow it. I hadn't had trouble "letting go" before, but this day was different. It marked the beginning of a new era of his childhood and my mommy-hood. I would no longer be his biggest influence. Nor would I be his preferred playmate. I was handing him over to "kindergarten" where he would start his journey of school. I strongly believe that the beginning sets the tone for the rest of these elementary school years - then the difficult intermediate and middle school years and finally those confusing high school years. But, inside, I had a peace that day. All because of the meet the teacher night when you SAW Joshua for WHO he was and from that moment on, you made such a commitment to make sure to get the best out of him. And you did. You're gifted at that. Stern, yet gentle. Structured, but spontaneous and fun. Organized but exciting. You are the definition of a perfect Kindergarten teacher. you know how to teach to the child instead of teaching at him/her. I asked Josh why he loved having you as his teacher. He said " I love Miss Lynch because she is fun!" That says so much to me coming for him. A boy of few words, he doesn't always express positive emotion. But to say he "loves" you means he is comfortable with you, can be himself around you, is not intimidated by you, but respects you. And feels good enough about himself that he can express that feeling. You have helped us get the best start possible for him inihis life of learning. And for that, we are forever grateful. Love, Tabitha Bradley

The Moment I Became a Mother

For nearly a year we waited for the day to come to find out we were pregnant. We had followed the plan, saved money, payed off debt, done all the things we were "supposed" to do before having kids and we were ready. We'd been married for 5 1/2 years. It was time, but not on our time. We would learn that lesson over and over in this journey of parenthood.

On March 30th, 2003 (Ryan's 29th Birthday) I woke up at 5am. I was a few days past my period and decided this would be the day I would take the test. It would either be a exciting birthday gift, or another disappointing discovery. When I looked at the test in the prescribed amount of time and not a second sooner and it was clearly two pink lines, I was in disbelief! I ran to the bedroom to wake Ryan up and tell him the news and I couldn't even speak without letting the tears flow.

Fast forward 9 Months. A long 9 months with morning, afternoon, evening, and nighttime sickness. Forcing myself to eat, barely gaining weight. But still I was happy to be pregnant. I read all the books. Wrote down all the first and was in pure amazement of the miracle of it all. The only thing I really miss about pregnancy is feeling the baby move. It got me through many difficult moments of the pregnancy. That reassuring kick or roll would push me right on through to the next moment.

We decided we would not find out the sex of the baby. I had always thought of it this way and had several reasons why I wanted to wait and felt it would be best for me. One was that I was so worried about the health and well being of the baby, that on that 20 week ultrasound i wanted to totally focus on that and be happy about having a healthy baby. The excitement of it also was fun and kept me going for the pregnancy. But, it bugged lots of folks!

December 3rd was my due date. On Monday November 17th I had my scheduled OB Appointment at 2:30. I went right after a work. I had dialated to 4 and was fully effaced when I arrived and my OB sent me up to labor and delivery.

Things seemed to roll along smoothly. Water broke. Epidural. contractions coming. As they got stronger and stronger though I had several blood pressure drops and lots of nausea. It was miserable for a while. At one point I remember thinking "Can I undo this?" "How can I getta outta this?"

Finally we were on the homestretch and I started to push at 12:30, midnight. Well, we all thought this was going to be a 7 pound baby since I was nearly 3 weeks early. So, we thought it'd be a few pushes then done. Well that was not the plan of the baby. He wanted to start his life, when he wanted to start when he wanted to start. SOoooo over 3 hours later, many epidural adjustments and top offs, screaming, crying, throwing up in between....at 3:44 AM the baby was born. I will never forget the words that came out of my husbands mouth - "IT"S A BOY! IT'S A BOY!" I can't put into words how it felt to hear that from him. It was said exactly as I had imagined it. The first time I would meet my child, and hear my husband, his father announce his arrival. He was overjoyed! And so was I.

This picture was the first time we looked at him, and he looked at us in the face. The nurse was still cleaning him up. We were in awe of the whole thing. Amazed, elated and excited.

November 18th, 2003 at 3:44 am was my first moment as a mother. Joshua Ryan Bradley was 8 pounds 6 ounces and 19 3/4 inches long. And he's been a wonderful adventure since that moment.