Yesterday was parenting day at my kindergartner's school. He was neither excited nor opposed to Sam and I coming to his territory, but once we got there he was obviously glad to see us. I was surprised at the number of parents that were there, expecting there to be maybe half the parents of the children in the class. But only a few children were without a parent with them, and those kids got to spend lunch and activity time with a volunteer.
It was very strange being back in a school cafeteria again. It's been a while. I would always eat the cafeteria food at lunch, I don't even remember having a lunch box. I have a lot of sad feelings about the school cafeteria. It is where I have most of my memories from school. My sister and I were on the free lunch program, and there is such a stigma associated with that. There were even times that I didn't eat lunch so I wouldn't get stares or feel different.
On this particular day they were having hotdogs, chips or chili. Me, Josh and Sam all had a hotdog, Josh's favorite meal. It was fascinating to watch Josh in his own environment. A environment for the first time that does not include me, I am only a visitor. He was quite comfortable there, not talking much, but he really doesn't. He did all the things he was supposed to do, how he was supposed to do it. He loves structure and knowing what comes next. He was proud to lead Sam and I around the school that day.
I was so glad to get the opportunity to spend that precious time with him, in this moment when he still thinks it's cool to hang out with his mom. When he got off the bus that day, he ran to me and said, "Mom! I really loved it when you came to my school and had lunch with me!"
Another small piece of my broken heart mended...
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